saw the stars in your eyes
by curiouslyominousrazzlingdazzle

saw the stars in your eyes

curiouslyominousrazzlingdazzle

Summary

It's not a complicated thing, in the end.

Notes

Published  on AO3:

2020-10-16

One Shot

It's not even really that complicated. Truly, in hindsight, JJ can pinpoint about fifty different reasons why it all went the way it did. None of them are earth-shaking ones, and none of them are nearly as scandalous as the press seems to think. It was just... a combination of a million little things.

Sometimes, it's the little cracks that make the house fall down.

But it's not complicated, no matter what anyone else says. His marriage fell apart — that's all anyone really needs to know. It fell apart because he didn't compromise enough, because Bella made too many compromises, because they didn't talk about things — the things that truly mattered. It fell apart, and they got divorced, and then the world found out.

So yes, in hindsight, he knows where things started going wrong. He can just about put his finger on it and point it out whenever anyone is insensitive enough to ask.

Not that he tells them, because it's not any of their business and he's not going to do that to Bella. 

But he knows why. And he's trying not to make the same mistakes again.

Yuri turns over on the bed next to him, his eyes fluttering like he's on the edge of waking up. JJ's eyes follow along the edge of his eyes down the line of his nose, past his soft mouth, and down to the length of his neck and the marks that he placed there. Yuri is going to be furious in the morning. He'll sulk and be petty and won't talk to JJ for an hour — but he'll say what he thinks and won't shy away from his unhappiness in fear of making JJ unhappy.

JJ isn't going to make the same mistakes again, because he likes to think that he can learn from them. He knows that sometimes it doesn't seem like it, and he knows the media is currently having the time of their lives; dissecting his every interaction with Yuri and trying to find out when things progressed to a romantic relationship. He knows that the accusations of cheating and other horrible things will only get worse — and he knows Yuri isn't going to run away. Yuri will claw and tear and frown and glare and make full use of his status to lord their relationship over the media's head.

Yuri will let him hold his hand in public, and he won't mind when JJ wants to kiss in front of the cameras, because Yuri has always liked to flaunt the things he's proud of. And it always makes JJ's heartbeat speed up in his chest, when he remembers that Yuri is happy with their relationship.

Bella wasn't, in the end. Neither of them were.

JJ can't explain and he isn't going to try to. He's not going to talk about the quiet nights when Yuri just sits with him on the couch and they make fun of crappy movies. He's not going to talk about the many times their dates are simply them going out and getting coffee and taking a walk together. Yuri wouldn't want him to and JJ wants to keep something of theirs to themselves. 

He won't make the same mistakes. 

Yuri turns on the bed again. The covers slip down further over him. It doesn't take a lot of work for JJ to grip Yuri's hand, and his own heart skips a beat when Yuri grips JJ's hand back on reflex. He closes his eyes.

Tomorrow, they have a lot of things to face. A lot of explanations to give. But really, in the end, it's not that complicated.